I am cranky. Do you hear me? C-R-A-N-K-Y!

Why? Oh, I don't know! I SHOULDN'T be, that's for sure. After all, I'm not being BOMBED or SHOT AT or SENT TO WAR. I don't have CANCER. (Not yet anyway!)

But #$%Q!

I haven't had s*x in almost a freaking year. That's RIGHT. Now, is that a monumental waste or what? There are not many years left for me, people, that I am going to be this hot. I mean, please. This body is going to waste.

And I am cranky about it!

Oh sure, I could go out there and f*ck almost anyone. But do I want to? NO. Call me old-fashioned but I'm through with casual sex! That's why I didn't sleep with The Captain. That's why I didn't sleep with Sporty Architect Boy. That's why I haven't slept with anyone in a freakin' year because either 1)I have not been attracted to them or 2)they were not attracted to me or 3)they were not relationship material.

I think I'm about to set some kind of personal record, if I haven't already.

Not to mention, I'm infatuated with the Charming Canadian, who is probably off f*cking some other girl; meanwhile, there are perfectly attractive, available men pursuing me who I just can't work up any excitement about.

PLUS, it's too freaking hot around here.

F*ck summer.