You know things are grim when you look forward to going to your chiropractor because he's cute and touches you and takes items of your clothing off.

Correction: he took my shoes off. But still. It was more items of clothing than anyone has removed in a while. In my waking life, that is. Too bad he's married. I mean, I know he wants me. How can he not? He even said to me today: "Your hair looks longer and darker than it did before."Now tell me, is it really appropriate for a chiropractor be making such comments to his female patients? God, what a flirt.

He's married. Of course. That is because every one is married. EVERY ONE do you hear me? It's those married ones that like me the best too. In my building is a married French man who I've had coffee with a few times (I didn't know he was married when he first asked me!) and who continues to look at me in the most adoring way even though I long since stopped having coffee with him because what was the point? Just because the French think it's all fine and dandy to have mistresses doesn't mean I want to be one!! Just the other day I had lunch with him though, because a girl needs some adoring gazes once in a while, OK?

In other news, I'm off to Bellingham this weekend where I'm going to be dragged into a trailless wilderness for two nights by a man of steel who is used to hiking miles alone with his dog and probably sleeps on a rock and doesn't need to eat or drink coffee to survive. If I never make it back, the married men of the world will mourn, I'm sure.