You know that when your biggest pleasure in life is spending $120 on two pairs of pants at Banana Republic that something is missing. Love or religion or good deeds for others or something. But they were size 4 pants. Do you know the last time I wore size 4? Never. Do you know how much, a year ago, I wanted to be a size 4 (or a size 6 or even a size 8 for that matter?)



I think I would trade those two pants size back for a little bit of the good stuff again, you know? But maybe it's something that I gotta make happen, not something that some guy who is magically going to fall in love with me and give me a happy ending like in that hokey "Sweet Home Alabama" movie that I watched on the train and which, in my sleep-deprived, emotional state, made me cry for one hour -- is gonna make happen.



I have enough love inside myself for me and a lot of other people in this world, and maybe it's time I get back to trying to help other people for a while instead of bemoaning my own aching heart. And it I happen to look just a little better doing it in my size 4 low-rider Banana Repuplic pants that will pretty much show my butt crack if I'm not careful, well so be it.