I am trying to become a morning person. So far it is not really working out but it is early in the campaign. I have determined that the only way for me to 1)promote this book 2)write a new one and 3)keep my current job is for me to go to bed at some ridiculously early hour and arise with the sun.

Note that I did not include "have a social life" on that list. I no longer work at Club Geeksoft, where I could party all night, rise late, write, roll in whenever, and get paid an astronomical salary. I now work harder, get paid less, and won't have time to write unless I take draconian measures! Not that I'm complaining mind you, I'm just SAYING.

In more positive news, I am hiring a new publicist and plan to go on a star-spangled U.S. tour in my glittery pink tour bus! OK I don't have the tour bus yet and I don't know how much of the U.S. I'll hit, but it will be a few of the big metro areas. And if you offer me a place to stay, I might even come to your town! I'm also gonna get on Oprah! Or Dr. Phil! Or Northwest Afternoon! Oh wait - I AM on Northwest Afternoon or I will be!

I already taped the show; it airs August 24. I sunk to new levels of degradation with this appearance by providing them with a photo of me and Loser (as requested)- each one of us standing on either side of the equator. I instructed them not to show his face because Lord knows he will sue me at the slightest provocation - and so they blacked out his face! Cheese. O. Rama. But I know you would sell your soul in a second for celebrity too, don't say you wouldn't. Or at least your ex-boyfriend's soul.

Thank you all once again for your comments, notes, and praise for the book. If I have not responded to your e-mail, your request for a free book (there are still a very few left!) or a *signed bookplate* (plenty of those too!) rest assured I will get to it.

And now, can we please have a moment of silence to mourn the passing of my favorite hat - a present from GalPal #2. I do believe it is finally lost and gone forever. It's a miracle that I was able to keep it this long (3 years!) without losing it. Here is a picture of my hat (and me) in front of some big old glacier in Patagonia, which is famous, but I forget the name.

(F*ck. The Blogger photo software is not working. I will insert the photo later. Picture me in a charming pink, striped cap here.)

RIP hat.

I have not gotten to kiss the construction worker much in the last few days, except in my head, that is. In my head, his lips are soft and his abs are hard -- just like in real life. Sometimes you don't need a lot of imagination.

Speaking of imagination (and I know this blog entry just goes on and on), I realize that by being a writer I am simply continuing to do my favorite childhood activity, which is pretend. When I don't get to write (pretend) for at least a couple hours a day, the world seems so drab. I remember saying to my mom once, "Isn't it boring to be an adult - you don't get to pretend!"

Well, lucky me, I turned out to be a writer. It's just now I'm gonna have to start getting up at the crack of dawn to get my two hours of pretend in. Poor me!

xo
BB