Breakup Babies,



Thank you so much for all your congratulations! You rock.



Now, on to other important matters. Such as tax deductions. Now that I am raking it in as a writer who writes about dates gone bad -- can I deduct my dating expenses? This idea was put forth by L'il Sis, who,as it may be obvious, has an MBA!



Dating expenses would include dinners that I pay for, bottles of alcohol I buy to seduce unsuspecting dates, "mood" music, and skimpy clothing. Linens too - you know how fast they get "dirty." Gas money for my numerous rendezvous, condoms, and...oh, the deductions are endless!



If only I could put a price on the broken heart that got me this deal. Yes, I would say at least one-quarter of my heart was fully broken; what kind of deduction would that be? I must get my accountant on the phone immediately!



Oh wait, you don't want to hear about tax deductions do you, you want to hear about S*X! And when my book is coming out!



All right then. Should all go according to plan (and whatever goes according to plan?) the book will come out, um, year after next. Give or take a year. Then you will buy it immediately as well as a copy for EVERY SINGLE PERSON YOU KNOW so as to make it an immediate bestseller. Voila!Instant happiness for all!



Then s*x. Ahem. Whatever gave you the idea that I would talk about that? But you must be feeling so deprived. Poor things. An astute commenter had it right when he said that the current object of my affections was "buried in the archives" somewhere. Guess who it is and I'll spill all.



When you guess CORRECTLY that is.