The Billy Joel song “Honesty” has been playing in my head ever since karaoke a couple weeks ago when I jealously watched some cute Japanese chick sing that song and thought, “Why didn’t I think of that one?!”



Maybe because I haven’t listened to that album since sixth grade, and because you hardly ever hear it sung anymore (just like you hardly ever hear the word, heh heh) but no matter. It will be my song, second only to my rendition of The Rose for it’s sheer emotional force.



In preparation, I’ve been belting it out everywhere I go. In my car. In the shower. “Hoooonesty is HARDLY ever heard, and MOSTLY what I need from YOU-OOH!”



And oh, wouldn’t you know, you get what you ask for. Picture this scene in your head, not once, but twice, playing out exactly the same way each time, except for minor variations the second time when BB is more wary, but alas, not more cautious.



Indie Rock Dad and Breakup Babe go to dinner and have sparky, flirty, fun conversation. Yes, they want to f*ck each other but they clearly like each other too.



IRD and BB retire to BB’s bachelorette pad, complete with red lamps, sweet-smelling candles, and sexy music. As they get it on in the warm summer night, everything is so hot, so exciting, that BB knows: it will never last.



BB is so smart.



Afterwards, IRD goes into analysis mode just like he did last time. Says the exact same things too, only more firmly. Tells her if he keeps having s*x with her, he’s going to fall in love, and he [begin male cliché]doesn’t want a relationship[/end male cliché] now, so therefore they can’t continue this thing that felt too good anyway, and they must just “be friends.”



The guy is honest, you gotta give him that much. A seething mass of contradictions and insecurities and mixed signals. But, nonetheless, honest.



BB herself is not so good at being honest when it involves telling people hurtful things, as is evidenced by the fact that Charming But Goofy Lawyer Boy is sitting innocently at home, with no idea that this "great" girl he just met isn’t interested in him anymore and has been f*cking someone else.



Anyway, since BB is friends with everyone, BB will be friends with IRD and go on this backpacking trip with him and eventually he will fall madly in love with her and throw himself at her feet but by then it will be too late because she will be a bestselling author happily married to Jake Gyllenhaal or Johnny Depp or Benicio del Toro.



Meanwhile, how soothing it is to have South African Boy right across the hall, showering me with attention. It’s enough to get a girl to drag her a*s into work on a sleep-deprived Thursday, I tell you that much.