OK, I've discovered a brilliant new technique:



Write e-mail to boys and don't send them.



Get that babbling, nervous, insecure sh*t onto the page and just SAVE it. The close e-mail. Simple. Beautiful. Effective. Until I open the e-mail again; see that there's no e-mail from the Obsession du Jour, in this case the tres beau Alt.Country Boy (ACB) and am tempted to send aformentioned draft.



SOLUTION: Tinker with it some more. Add a line about how you really want to see him again. Take it out. Fix that stupid line where you babbled about Emmylou Harris. Take his e-mail address out of the "To:" line in case you accidentally send it. Save draft. Quickly close e-mail again before you can send it.



Ahh. Safe for another hour.



Now don't get me wrong. I'm all for girls taking the lead and not sitting around on their a*ses waiting to hear from some useless SOB, who they might as well find out is useless sooner rather than later. Which is why, after a marathon three days (from whence springeth this patience, I do not know), I called ACB yesterday.



He seemed thrilled to hear from me, though what do I know? I could have been imagining the longing, the desire, the PASSION, that surged through the wireless towers of Seattle when he said, "Yeah, sure, let's hang out on Friday night."



If only things were that simple. There are some complications having to do with some friend of his arriving from some foreign country, possibly on Friday night, so I am now WAITING. To hear from ACB. My absolute least favorite activity on the face of the planet, since patience is a virtue I do not possess in any way, shape, or form.



So. Waiting. Fiddling with the draft of my e-mail that I will NOT send because I have no need to chase men around. But still. Is he going to call? Does he care? Were he and all his by-golly-you-sher-are-a-purdy-gurl compliments just a way to weasel his way onto the Red Couch o' Love?



Hmmph. It is easy to keep my mind off such things though, because I am editing some VERY interesting, top-secret documents right now featuring all sorts of fascinating acronyms such as IIS, ASP, C++, CGI, YAWN, and .NET, all which must be appropriate trademarked lest we get sued. Who needs love when you have such an exciting job anyway?



In other news, Cute Train Boy (CTB) has been downgraded to Friend+, Mr. Millionaire to Friend -, and Charming Elfin Boy (who wrote me an e-mail in which he said, quite charmingly, that he thought I found him to be about "as interesting as a stuffed vole") to Friend Maybe. The L'il Rockclimbing Spy is available for good times when he is in town, which is only once every six weeks (luckily).



Did you know I kissed three boys last week? Only enjoyed kissing two out of the three. An exhausting week in all.