Hear ye, hear ye, I have decided that Cute Train Boy (CTB) and I are tempermental opposites, and therefore unsuitable for one another. I, after all, am a Gemini, and His Royal Slowness is a Taurus. Lookie here what ivillage's astrology Web site has to say about THAT:



Taurus's sedate, practical approach to life differs greatly from Gemini's more light, intellectual approach...Taurus is simply looking for a dependable, sensual partner, so Gemini's brilliance may be lost on the Bull.



Yes, god dam* it, when am I going to find someone who appreciates my BRILLIANCE, that's what I want to know?



Oh wait, I did once. Loser used to tell me I was brilliant. Loser used to tell me I was beautiful. Loser used to tell me -- SHUT UP!



Right. We weren't compatible anyway. He was a Capricorn, after all.



Capricorn needs security and Gemini needs freedom. Not a good pairing. Gemini is freewheeling and adventuresome and Capricorn is conventional, steady, and conservative . Capricorn likes order and routine, Gemini doesn’t. Gemini makes Capricorn feel too insecure to have any kind of lasting relationship. Capricorn is too sober for Gemini.



Yeah, that's me, freewheelin, fun-lovin' and freakin' brilliant! Not many men can deal with THAT combo, I tell 'ya!



Anyway, I've decided that on our next date (Saturday, in THEORY, if he doesn't go into another "reclusive funk"), I'm going to tell CTB we are unsuitable for one another. Complete opposites. Him sedate, me brilliant, etc. I will cut him a deal, however: Make out with me and I'll consider our suitability a bit more.



Tomorrow, though, I have a date with the Kickass Lawyer Jew (KLJ). Our prospects look a little better, since he's a Saggitarius.



Gemini is an Air Sign and Sagittarius is a Fire Sign. This is quite the active relationship! Air spreads Fire far and wide, helping it increase in power. Gemini and Sagittarius together have just this effect on one another. Theirs is a very fiery, passionate connection.



HA. Finally a man who will appreciate my mercurial side instead of whining about it. We are going kayaking together tomorrow afternoon (in the rain, no doubt), then if all goes well, having s*x. I mean, dinner. After one date, I still don't like him as much as I like CTB, who is UNSUITABLE FOR ME (despite being a very nice person, I must add), but I am hoping KLJ will grow on me. In more ways than one.



(I KNOW I've used that joke before and I apologize. My brillliance begins to wane a bit around 10 p.m.)



Love Always,

Breakup Babe