Well finally. It’s all over with me and the doctor. C’est tout fini.



So move along, no need to linger, nothing to see here folks. There’s no blood, no carnage, just one slightly bruised ego.



He’s all hung up on this other girl, see. And even though it looked like he was finally gonna come through for me – maybe even he thought he was gonna come through for me – it’s her he wants. (Whether she wants him or not, which, of course I hope she doesn’t and that he’s left all to his lonesome, obnoxious self).



And really, it’s all for the best. You knew that all along. So did I. I mean, how many different way can you say “red flags?”



I wish I had time to tell you all the details, but I don’t. To my profound annoyance, I actually have to work this month. Hard. But quelle boring topic.



Let’s just say this. For the moment, Breakup Babe has only one man. And that would be Silent But Deadly Boy, who, while he doesn’t inspire the (misguided) infatuation that the doctor did, is one fine specimen of man. And who, with his rock-climbing, tele-skiing, traveling ways, is everything I’ve ever wanted in the adventure department (and I want a lot.)



Not to mention he’s loving, fun, smart, successful, rocks in bed, and has a giant c*ck (Well, maybe not giant. I realized that everyone seems to have a giant c*ck lately, and it struck me that this is, perhaps, a bit of relativism at work – that is, they all SEEM big, because Loser was small. Oh, and he could never do it more than once in a row, hardly had any sex drive, and suffered from sexual dysfunction due to anti-depressants but let’s save that story for another time).



Since SBDB isn’t ready to have a girlfriend, though, I might be forced to go on the hunt for another boy just to protect myself. But I really don’t feel like hunting. I like SBDB for crying out loud. And I’m tired.



It’s nervewracking, however, to go suddenly from two boys to one because now I have all my eggs in one basket. And that, to a 34-old woman with few eggs to begin with, is a bit nervewracking. For example, how do you think I'm managing to be so blase about el doctor? It's because there's another boy.



It would be nice if I didn’t need boys at all. Why do I need them so much anyway? I never thought of myself as one of those girls “who always has a boyfriend” (said in disdainful voice), but uh, I’ve noticed that without male attention, I seem to wither. And I don’t like that.



Lest you think that Breakup Babe will become boring with only one boytoy, never fear. The drama is not over, rest assured. And if it is, well, I have a talent for creating drama where it doesn't exist.