Wednesday, December 13, 2006

There is nothing like getting some stressful news, then dropping your brand new laptop on the street (when it falls out of your unzipped bag), only to then discover that you’ve lost one of your new expensive earrings because you forgot to put the back on it this morning.

I am officially the most careless person in the world. I lose everything, from earrings to snowshoes to hats to expensive dresses. (Oops just dropped a big piece of my scone on the ground!). Lost my hairbrush last night, can’t find that pretty and pricey scarf I bought last winter, not to mention two of my winter coats.

My brain is a big fuzzball. It is good at figuring out things like what should character X say to character Y but try to get it to read a map and it goes blank. Or fix something mechanical. I have breadth but no depth. I can’t focus on details. They bore me. But they are so important! There are many things I want to do that I can’t because of this.

Navigate through the snow. Hang plants from my ceiling. Read the fine print carefully before taking a job so I don’t pick a contracting agency that has the suckiest benefits on the face of the planet. Remember what my family members actually do for a living (something to do with computers?)

I need to reread Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance; I know it. I am so out of tune with the physical world. I live in the abstract realms of my own head, which is is filled with useless thoughts that get me nowhere and nothing except a dented laptop, lost earrings, lost in the world. There must be something I’m good at. I just can’t think of what it is right now. Hooking up with the wrong guys, maybe. Yeah, there you go, there’s my talent.

There must be something I’m good at. I just can’t think of what it is right now.

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