OK I am totally blocked on this article I want to write.

Blocked is perhaps the wrong word. I've written several drafts of it and they all suck. Not only that, I *outlined* it according to the tried-and-true outline format that got me through Breakup Babe the Novel and it didn't work!

I mean, why is it that now that I'm a soon-to-be-rich-and-famous novelist that I can't even write a f*cking 2000-word article? You'd think the words would simply flow from my pen. That, with the new reservoirs of self-confidence that come from getting a novel published by the world's mightiest publishing house (oh Jesus, stop bragging, would you?) that I could generate a few paragraphs of crystalline prose about a subject near and dear to my heart but NO. YOU WOULD BE WRONG.

I'm trying to write about how I got addicted to blogging about my love life (no thanks to YOU PEOPLE) and then got over it. To write such an article, I need to show the psychological and emotional journey I've been on since I started this damn blog, including my infatuation with being a blogebrity, to the first pricks of my conscience, to the deleterious effect my blog had on my relationships once I wasn't anonymous anymore to the EPHIPHANY that finally made me stop (whatever that was).

Yeah. You'd think I could write this baby in my sleep. Maybe the problem is I'm still an addict. Any time I make any oblique reference to my dating life, everyone flies into a frenzy begging for the details and I go through two days of the DTs. Maybe I'm not far enough away from this subject to analyze it clinically.

Motherf*cker.

But I'm going to write it. I swear I am. Even if I did procrastinate all morning by writing on the blog. Because if there is one thing I have learned in the last couple years is that it takes ten million drafts to get something right and the only way to finish something is to persevere long past the point you think you should be perservering. Yeah, great f*cking career.

In other news, my very talented friend M. has made this luridly hilarious short movie that you should watch. He owes all his future show biz success to me for complicated reasons that I won't go into having to do with our high school production of the Music Man, during which I made a star turn in the small but pivotal role of Amaryllis. (He played a lowly townsperson but has come a long way in his career since then).

Oh yes, and before I sign off, let me tell you that there are big opportunities coming your way in the very near future to win a copy of my book! Seeing as I'm obviously never going to produce another word of publishable prose again, this book might will probably become a valuable collector's item! But just try to contain your excitement and I will have more information soon.

xo
BB