Hello from Whistler! Can someone get me out of here please?

Oh wait, this is the premier ski destination in North America! Right. OK! Only two hours til I leave!

Oh just kidding. Sort of. I can't complain, seeing as I got to stay at the Four Seasons on Geeksoft's dime, in an executive suite, no less! I got lots of other free stuff, too - a lift ticket, ski rentals, and some pretty kickass free food.

But the bottom line? I am not much of a downhill skier. For one, I do not have the right clothes. Instead of looking like a sleek ski bunny, I look like a red balloon. Two, I do not like crowds. Or corporate resorts. Three, thanks to parents who also didn't like crowds or corporate resorts, I never really learned to 1)downhill ski very well or 2)like it very much. (Though, with some private coaching from a studly ski god, I'm sure I could tear up the slopes. Mmm. Remember the Jewish Ski God? I would have been a damn fine skier by now had that been more than just a hot little fling).

Anyway, I do love mountains and I do love snow and there is plenty of that round here. So I am not complaining. Really!

In other news, I think it would be fun to have a weekly Breakup Babe advice column. We all know I'm the last person anyone would want advice from, yet people ask me for it all the time anyway! So, I say let's try it. Once a week, on Mondays, I'll answer your dating-related questions. Take my advice and you'll be certain never to find a lasting relationship again! E-mail your questions to breakupbabe@msn.com.

OK, fleeing the crowds and the ski bunnies now.