Well I really should not be writing to you: I should be working on my Nanowrimo novel, but, can I just say – bleh! I’m a failure as a novelist! A one-hit wonder! Or rather, a one-idea wonder.

Let’s all hope my first novel goes bling-bling because it’s all downhill after that. The well will run dry, the pen will run out of ink, (insert other clichéd metaphor here) and I’ll end up a housewife in Bellevue with 3 kids, a minivan, and a serious Xanax addiction.

Oh. Wait a minute. I already have a Xanax addiction. (OK, not really. Just because I carry it with me everywhere I go doesn’t mean I’m addicted!) And a husband sounds awful nice right about now. A hot, sexy, intellectual husband who loves nothing more than to jet off on international adventures together yet doesn't mind supporting me while we’re home so I can keep writing my going-nowhere-novels in style and taking care of the three kids on my lunch break.

Wait – three kids – that’s too many. One kid – yeah, that’s pretty civilized. Easy enough to pack up in the carry-on bag when you jet off to Tahiti or wherever, along with your Valu-Pak of Xanax and your copy of "Breakup Babe" the novel!

In other news, I’ll get back to that Nanowrimo novel any minute now. I just have to say, thank you to Wyn for telling me I’m too cute “to be indoors and being a technical editor.” Hallelujah to that! If anyone has more suitable employment for me, please let me know. Meanwhile, I’ll slowly just wither and die in my windowless office.

I didn’t put my picture up just to get your compliments, by the way, though they are much appreciated! I just thought that now that you know who I am, and can find my damn picture on the Internet anyway, I might as well put up a good photo of me – one that involved a hair stylist, a makeup artist, and an expensive photographer, and the dewy youth that I still possessed back in May.

Plus, did you notice, I finally took down the original blurb that had been there for three and a half years?! The one that described as “broken-hearted?” Ha. Broken-hearted my a*s. I’m hard-hearted now!

Just kidding. My heart is cracked in a few places, that’s for sure. Maybe hardened in a corner here and there. But soft and sweet and ready to love the right person, should he ever come along, which is starting to look more and more dubious as time goes by, but never mind about that.

Back to the crap second novel.