Just a few reasons I need a boyfriend:

• I cannot get the back tire back on my bicycle.
  
  
  
  
• I can't get a roof rack for my car because I'm not tall enough to put my own bicycle on it.
  
  
  
  
• My DSL modem is not working.
  
  
  
  
• My karaoke machine is not working.
  
  
  
  
• I live up three flights of stairs and am consistently carrying at least 500 pounds of things with me every time I come home.
  
  
  
  
• I need to take my piano to the shop and it weighs at least 500 pounds.
  
  
  
  
• I haven't had s*x in -- oh, never mind.