OK I am trying to come up with glamorous tidbits for you here – all about my Sex-in-Seattle lifestyle but gosh darn it if I have felt about as sexy as a banana slug lately. (No doubt there are people out there who have banana slug fetishes, and who will now find this site via a Google search on “banana slug fetish.” But we will assume they are the minority.)



It is true I am wearing a short tight dress today. With black boots. I do have eye makeup on. I blow dried my hair. Well, yesterday. Today it is as flat and greasy as a…hmm. Need a metaphor here? What food item is flat and greasy? Tortilla? No, not greasy enough. Pancake? No, clichéd. Potato chip?



Ok, forget it. Let's just move on.



Something is just a little bit off with me lately. Is it the weather? The endless gray, cold, rain, snow? The lack of heat in my apartment that forces me to go to bed wearing wearing a gigantic sweater over two layers of long underwear, complete with a balaclava and wool socks that date from the 70s?



In any case, the spark is gone people. I’m nothing but an empty sexless husk. Don’t expect any more tales of lust and derring-do from me.



At least this week.