Well. I'm finally starting to understand that t-shirt my dad had that he loved so much back in the early 80s. It said, "I have now abandoned my search for Truth and am looking for a good fantasy."



Even though I sometimes wore that shirt for 7th grade P.E., I didn't get why he and my mom thought it was so d*mn funny. "You'll understand when you're older," they said (which is what they ALWAYS said when they were too lazy to explain something), and then they'd smirk at each other.



I now understand it and you know why? I am willingly engaging in a fling, that's why. Sporty Architect Boy is coming up from San Francisco to visit me for four whole days in early May, and I am like, "Bring it on, baby. We don't have a future but you are hot."



Actually I am more angst-ridden than that. I am more like "Oh my gosh I shouldn't get involved oh my gosh I'm just falling into my old pattern of getting involved with anyone who's cute, oh my gosh I'm just bored, I really shouldn't, oh my gosh, if I have a fling now I'm going to be alone forever and EVER! Oh my gosh I must buckle down and look for Mr. Right. Right now!"



But you know what? F*ck it. I could meet Mr. Right in two weeks and he could die two weeks after that, and meanwhile I'd miss a whole weekend of fun with Sporty Architect Boy, who, by the way, does think we have a future (I think.)



Yes. So there you have it. The problem is, I'm not actually sure I want to have s*x with him. Now you're saying WTF?! Well, excuse me - but I don't have sex with just anybody these days! I mean, The Captain, hello, I dated him for two months, liked him a lot, and never gave it up!



I guess I can't exactly have a fling without having s*x, can I? If he flies all the way up here, he's gonna want it, isn't he?



Hmm.



But anyway. I've abandoned my search for True Love (for the month of May anyway) and am indulging myself in a good fantasy.



So there.