Sigh. Another evening, another blind date, another swank new bar. Will it ever end?



Alas, I have not had a shower in two days, through no fault of my own. Sleeping late, broken hair dryer, book that needs writing, etc. My greasy hair is therefore pulled into two, what-I-hope-are-charming pigtails, and my piquant yet feminine body odor hidden under one psychedelic hot-pink-and-orange shirt layered under one velour sweater, doused liberally with rose perfume.



Perhaps he will be so distracted by my big brown eyes that he will ignore all signs of my lack of hygiene. Did I tell you what the Captain once said to me, in one of his sweeter moments? That my "gorgeous brown eyes caused him to melt inside?"



Da*mn it.



We've been corresponding jauntily over e-mail as if our break-up never occurred. But he got the Dear Captain letter, I know he did. And yes, 'twould probably be best if I just shut him down entirely for a while, but can I help it if I want him to do an about-face and say "BB, I LOVE you, I was so WRONG to be so FLAKY, I will change my entire PERSONALITY for you if only you will take me BACK!"



You know what I like best about NAPSTER? (the legal version?) That you can download your favorite cheesy hits from the 80s without having to buy the whole damn album! "Total Eclipse of the Heart." "Keep On Lovin' You." "The Gambler!" "All out of Love!" It doesn't get any better than that, now does it?



All right. Off to the dating jungle.