I am really and truly f*cked for eternity.



Are you a nice boy? Happy in your life? Well-adusted? Securely employed? Then don’t waste your time with me.



However, are you one of the following?

• Obsessed with your ex-girlfriend?
  
  
• In serious need of antidepressants?
  
  
• Stuck in a career crisis?
  
  
• Possessed of stunning cheekbones or bedroom eyes?
  
  
• Otherwise emotionally unavailable (i.e. married, in a serious relationship, in a mental institution)?
  
  

Then apply within for a position as one of UnBoyfriends ™! You’ll be one of many, but why should you care? You can’t commit anyway.