All right folks, it’s been a little while. And you know how I can tell this?



As a work event, our group went to see Lord of the Rings yesterday (yes, there are benefits to working at the largest software company in the world) and despite my halfhearted objection to all that violence, I noticed something a little funny going on.



I started getting a little hot and bothered by all those long, hard, flaming, uh, swords and stuff.



You know things are dire when a flaming sword turns you on.



And you know when things are dire you tend to make bad choices.



Unfortunately, there are no good choices to be made out there right now unless Stud Athlete Software Boy (SASB) asks me out again after the holidays (can you believe I have to wait that long?), or if Sexy Boy (SB) decides he might want to experiment with more than a New Year's fling.



Melancholy Hipster Boy continues to be cute but emotionally unavailable, despite the fact that he constantly invites me over for spaghetti. From what I can tell his sword is long, but a little limp at this time.



And Friendster Boy - the best prospect of them all - well, I'm just not attracted to him, though I've tried, believe me, I've tried. And his sword may be very nice for all I know, I’m just not tempted to pull it out of its sheath.



So as we plunge the holidays, I have this wish for all of you: I hope you are getting more flaming sword action than me. And if you are - enjoy it please! But don't forget about those less fortunate than you.